VICTORY DESPITE PTSD
ACTION OR ATROPHY
I am NOT a medical professional, and this is NOT medical advice. I am simply a survivor with a story. A victory story. Regardless of…
I like to think of it as Pushing Through Stuff Daily; Pressing Through So Diligently; Consistently Pushing Through Satan’s Deception. I could go on and on. And, by the way, the “C” is for C-PTSD – Complex PTSD. I know all about it. Wish I didn’t. But, I also know victory in the midst of it. Glad I do.
So, what is this Victory in spite of it all about? Isaiah 54:17 says that No weapon formed against me shall prosper. It doesn’t mean that weapons weren’t formed or that they weren’t used. Of course they were. We wouldn’t be talking about the subject if they hadn’t. The arrows came. They pierced. Damage was done. I cannot do anything to change the past.
The weapon I’m referring to is Satan’s continued arrows targeted at me by means of memories, triggers, flashbacks, dreams. That’s the “Post” in PTSD, and I can do everything in the now to change the enemy’s attacks on me through these devious means of his. I have a lot of tools and weapons at my disposal, given to me by the Lord Himself. I want to share some of them with you today.
I take things one day at a time. Looking at the “big picture” – the great big rest of my life – is just too overwhelming. But, one day at a time, and sometimes increments smaller than that, well, that’s do-able. It’s kind of like quitting a bad habit. If I just take care of it one incident, one trigger, one flashback, one day at a time, I can tackle it. And the great thing is – the tools and weapons work every time. Foolproof.
Philippians 4:13 says that I am able to do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. So, when I lean on Him, and take things one incident at a time, those arrows are rendered broken, powerless. No weapon formed against me prospers. It doesn’t grow. In fact, the arrows break. I am victorious. And I am even stronger. Then, to come full circle, I am here willing and able to help others.
Take a look at that word flashback. Did you notice that “back” is in there? That’s right. Back. Back there. Then. Not now. What was then is not now. Whether it was a single incident or years and years of trauma, it doesn’t matter. It’s all behind me. It’s all behind you. That’s why they are just memories. They are not in the here and now. They cannot hurt us anymore. That’s the reality check.
I am going to share with you something I came up with that has helped me fantastically when it comes to keeping things where they belong – back there. It’s called the Black Curtain. It hangs right behind me. Everything in my past is behind it. It’s a living curtain, meaning that it moves with time. Every minute that passes, every second, as I move forward in time, so goes the Black Curtain with me. And every moment that becomes the past is behind it.
Any time something bad from the past wants to jump over that curtain and hop into my present and TRY to hurt me, I quickly toss it back over the Black Curtain. That means I am actively involved in keeping those triggers at bay. Actively involved. That’s important in itself because, if I am not active about it, my emotions render me atrophied. Just like muscles. I’ve got to work. No, I didn’t want this or ask for this. But it is what it is. And working works. Every time.
If you read my blog entitled the “Ten ‘Knows’,” you’ll remember I talked about using the weapons we have to fight the enemy. Two of those are the Name of Jesus and the Full Armor of God. First, let me share that the enemy HATES the Name of Jesus. If you find yourself caught in the middle of a trigger or flashback and don’t have enough wherewithal to go through the Black Curtain exercise, or whatever else works for you, you can simply call on the Name of Jesus, commanding the enemy to leave in that Name, and he MUST GO. Sure, he’ll be back, but just repeat the same thing. It works, again, every time. Again, foolproof.
What about the Full Armor of God? What’s that? In the book of Ephesians, Paul wrote in chapter 6, verses 10-18, a beautiful scenario of a Roman soldier dressed for man to man combat. He spelled it all out for the people at Ephesus who lived under Roman rule, and who understood very well what a Roman soldier looked like. He meticulously went through each part of the armor, using each piece as an analogy for spiritual warfare for us to use against the enemy of our souls. It is priceless! And, when used, it is very effective!
Although it’s out of order according to the way Paul presented it, I’ll share it with you from tip to toe: The Helmet of Salvation – it protects your mind against the enemy’s voice (it does so much more – another time, another discussion); the Breastplate of Righteousness – the enemy tries to tell you you’re not worthy, you tell him you bear Christ’s Righteousness; the Belt of Truth – again, any lies from the enemy, the king of deception, are thwarted by what you know to be true; the sandals of the Gospel of Peace – you are able to stand firm shod with the peace that surpasses all understanding; the Shield of Faith – to ward off all the fiery darts of the enemy with the faith the Holy Spirit provides you; and, finally, the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God – you attack the enemy using God’s Word. This last one is what Jesus used when He was tempted three times in the desert.
Recently, the enemy knew that I had been struggling with something in particular. A very tough struggle. I was tired. I felt battle fatigued. I was having bad dreams on top of everything else. The enemy came to me and planted these thoughts in my head:
“Where is you God? Where is He when you need Him? Why doesn’t He answer you when you’ve asked for specific help so many times, and others are praying for you, as well?”
Oh, I knew this was not the voice of my Loving Saviour. I recognized the sound of that heinous voice. Even the smell of it. I pulled out my Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God:
“The Lord says He will never leave me nor forsake me!” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
“My ways are not God’s ways, and my thoughts are not God’s thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8) I trust Him completely.
“All things work together for good.” (Romans 8:28)
These may not mean as much to you, but, in my relationship with God, they mean a lot – a whole lot – to me. And there are so many more Scriptures. I jab the enemy every time with one of them. I do warfare, combat, face to face with him. He gets so close. But not too close because he knows he is trespassing if he even touches me. Every time I have a flashback, and he tries to use it to send me twirling into space, the sooner I am able to pull out that Sword, the sooner the flashback fades. Another victory.
Here are other pieces of the Armor at use. The enemy will say, “You’re nothing but damaged goods. A good-for-nothing.” Ha! I boldly exhibit the beautiful Breastplate of Righteousness and the Belt of Truth. He cannot argue with those. He leaves for a while. And, all the while, I am wearing those remarkably peaceful Shoes. Ah, yes, He WILL keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him, because he trusts in Him! (Isaiah 26:3)
Well, I’ve only scratched the surface of the topic of PTSD, victory in the midst of it, as well as tools and weapons to obtain and keep that victory. If I find that it is something that readers are interested in, I’ll write more.
My story is a victory story, and it always will be. And, all glory to my King of Kings! Without Him, I know I would still be shriveled up on the couch or in bed, barely able to function on “those” days. But, with Him, I am not only able to survive, I am able to THRIVE! I am able to SHARE! And, I pray I am able to help. Again, I am not a medical professional; this is just my story. I simply pray that those of you with similar stories have been able to glean some help from it.
To Him be all glory! Amen and amen! Until next time, dear friends!